Posted at 6:08 AM
Friday, May 27, 2005
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I will be busy as a bee today working on more wedding stuff. It's actually kinda fun as it is the most creative I've been since coming back here. And it's an exciting day as I'm going with Shauna's bridesmaid to look for wedding stuff. I know that sounds funny but this will be the first day I've gotten away from all the kids since I came down here. I love them dearly but I do need the break.
I'll be so happy when this is over and I can sit and journal in here anytime I feel like just writting. To not have to worry about who's looking over my shoulder and reading every little thing I write.
Here's to a nice cup of tea out on the deck.
Posted at 8:21 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Sorry we haven't been able to chat for a while - I really miss you. Things are actually settling down a little bit here. Got my house appraised, and everything submitted for the refinancing. The loan officer said everything looks good. I'll know the beginning of next week. If it goes through I'll save nearly five hundred a month, which I plan to spend on house renovations. Cross your fingers for me.
On that note, I'd better get going .. Ken is on his way over, and I said I'd give him a back massage when he gets here. He planted 14 fruit trees (that I ordered), and tilled the garden a second time so it's all ready for planting. I think he deserves a massage :)
Posted at 8:32 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
It's funny how a person can have so many feelings swirling around inside that they want to spill out onto paper yet the mere thought of it is so overwhelming that it takes their breath away. Sometimes I want to come here and just let it all spill forth but it scars me. Fear of starting to write and not being able to stop. Fear of writting it all down then feeling guilty for some of the feelings I have. Fear that I will sound heartless and cold. Fear that if I write it all down I'll be so empty I won't be able to.....I don't know what. But I've been doing alot of reading about journaling and about soul work and I know that it is time to work on getting all these things out. I bought the Inner, Outings book and card set for journaling. The cards are for prompts on what to write. You are supposed to pick a card then journal on that prompt no matter what. The book has a chapter to go along with each card that takes you further into it. So I am going to start doing this as often as I can once I read the rest of the book, which should be done tomorrow. I will use that prompt as the title and you may feel free to comment if you have anything to add. I may write it in a journal as well so that I can add other things as well,,,such as collage, momentos or whatever. But I think that if I work on making this a habit that it will help me get to know myself,,,,,really know myself. My inner self. I may not like all that I remember but they are my memories and I need to take them out and examine them then let them fly free. I think I'm ready!
Posted at 10:21 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Sis, I opened an email from tarot.com this morning and I had to ask myself,,,,"Did sis write this and email me?",,,lol
Sheila Heichel,One inner voice is telling you to hide, but another one says to do things that draw attention to you. This may feel like a familiar dilemma, for you're typically not one to seek the spotlight, unless you feel safe with those around you. Now, however, you are seeking acknowledgment. Even if it brings up issues of insecurity, it's time for you to get out of the cave that you've tunneled yourself into.
And what is even funnier is that this so hits the spot as I've had a couple very icky days. Wendy was off work on Tuesday and she slept till 5:30 then she got up and left with Christa for a "few" minutes. Of course she didn't get home till almost 10 which meant that once again I was stuck here with all the kids, doing all the house work and this was while I was still sick as all get out with a huge sinus headache. Shauna was at work so she couldn't help her self. Then yesterday Wendy was off again and she did absolutely nothing while I did laundry, cleaned house and did dishes. It is time for me to say something because she can't really think this is ok.
I sure hope all this trailer mess gets over sooner than later.
Sending you huge hugs for being here for me. I love you to the moon and back.
Posted at 8:59 AM
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Sis, I've sure missed being here. I've spent the last 3 days in bed with a horrific sinus infection but it is starting to subside at last. Hope Will is feeling better.
Well I'm down to 3 more days till the trailer is taken off the chapter 13. Then I'll just have to wait to hear from the loan company to see what their going to do. I can't hardly wait till this is over with. I am praying that I don't have any problems selling this land. I shouldn't since it is the largest lot in the area and it already has trees on it as well as having the water and electric hook ups on it. But I am going to call that place that wrote me as soon as I hear from the loan company as I am really hoping that they are serious and are wanting to buy this land. Boy it will be nice to end this chapter and start anew.
I can hardly wait to be back up there and be able to sit and chat with Will and hear all about his job and what he's up to. But most of all I miss our times together to chat, laugh and just enjoy life.
Wendy has the next two days off so I am gonna go over and see if I can finish up the storage bldg. It is so hard finding time to do anything now that she is working as Shauna is working all day and Wendy works all night so it seems like I'm always tied to the house and kids. Shauna had off yesterday but I was way to sick to even get out of bed much less do anything.
I'm staying strong and working on steps to keep me strong. Leaving the girls to their own won't be that hard. The grand kids will be the hardest but I know it is for everyones best interest that I make this happen. And I will be able to visit the kids so they will be fine.I will stay strong and if I feel myself weaken I will be sure and put it here so you can water my strength. I sure miss laughing with you.
Posted at 6:59 AM
Turn bedroom into Magic Place :)
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